Drillbit, You Old Fool!

What to do when you're a bum: get a job, or rip people off? How about a job, ripping people off?

What do you do when you're a weak little freshmen with no friends and no one to protect you: karate lessons, or hire a bodyguard? How about a bodyguard who knows karate?

Directed by Steven Brill, Drillbit Taylor has that very idea. With a tagline of "You Get What You Pay For", Owen Wilson stars as homebum turned bodyguard.

Do you remember when you were a freshmen in highschool,and you got picked on by upperclassmen? There were plenty of hazing rituals going on. Did you ever decide to "man up" and stand up for the underdog? Ronnie(Josh Peck) and Ryan (Troy Gentile) did just that, and ended up with the spazmatic Emmit(Daniel Dorfman ) following them around like a stray dog.All three are being picked on by the school psychopath, the good looking 'Filkins' ,who was never given the courtesy of having a first name.After enough bullying has been done, Ronnie decides to place a wanted add, for a bodyguard.'Drillbit' Taylor, as he is known, answers the add.After being homeless after deserting the U.S Army in Iraq, Drillbit is left homeless and pennyless.He then decides that the best way to start over is to do the most obvious thing: move to Canada.However the problem with that is the money issue, but the wanted add he answers hopefully will change that.As the movie goes on, Drillbit trains the three young friends so they can defend themselves from torture, and he goes undercover as a teacher.

The whole time Drillbit is helping the threesome, he's not being completly honest, which totally comes back to bight him in the ass. Now, this being a PG-13 flick, of course there are morals to be taught, in some way. The two I've found, are : be honest, and don't be a bum, if you can help it. When the truth of Drillbits identity comes out, all hell breaks loose, with cops, parents, teachers, crying, cussing, and throwing of objects, and stealing of valuable possessions.

The bad thing about this truthful reawakening is that Drillbit is all alone and hated by the four people he cared about. To redeem himself, he ends up saving the day, throwing in some great one liners that only Owen Wilson can pull off. He beats the bad guys, loses a finger, gets the girl, gets locked up, and back out of jail again, and the day is saved. Hoo-rah!

For being greared towards highschool children, the movie was great.The humor was deffinatly something teenagers would get a kick out of, and there were some references that older people, or just science fiction geeks would get a kick out of.The reference of which i speak from Blade Runner, one of my personal favorites. I remember sitting in the theatre with my jaw dropped to my chest upon hearing it. Drillbit-"Look into these eyes.I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate." Ronnie-" Isn't that from Blade Runner?"

I looked into my co-worker's eyes, and said the exact thing.It was sheer greatness.

There was also some humor derived from rap-battling.You see the highschool bully and the rotund young Ryan( aka T-dog) go at it, on school grounds. This ends with Ryan winning the battle with a line about sucking family jewels. Not a wise move, but very funny.

Over all it was a solid flick, and I'd say, to anyone who remembers being bullied, or is a bully themselves, go see this movie.

3 out of 5 stars, reasons above. Dig In.